dear T ♥

there's something about you , i don't know what it is , that keeps me holding on .

♥ T

confession .

1. That i love my mom and my dad so much . Love them more than everything in this world . well , with or without any confession, i know that i love them more than i could realize . ;)

2. That i have been trying so hard not to let them down .

3. That i love my super damn annoying sister . how i wish i could just kick her out from this room , right now ! but i know i will be missing her if she's not by my side :D

4. That i hate and love my bdj n lnb , eventhough they are so annoying , the only thing that they can do ==a still i do love them alot !

5. That i am not a child anymore . no longer a kid , no longer a teenager . it's a time for me to get through, to reach all the means of my life. it's time for me to grow up , time to be maturer . :)

6. That i am madly, truly , deeply , un-conditionally in love with him :)

completely lost .

真的真的超讨厌现在的自己

不管遇到什么事，我唯一能够做的就只是哭

我是几时变得那么软弱

承受了太大的压力，原来是这种感觉

Gbm

4th march .

不管你们说什么，

我还是决定了，不再顾虑任何事情

他在我心中的地位，是任何人都无法了解的

就相信我吧， 我真的不想错过这最后一次的机会

结果会是怎样我都不会后悔  

♥

i wanna be with you ♥

没力气 总是懒洋洋的
赖着你 怀里顽皮嬉戏
是该做些事 心里又甜蜜的
不想要不想要张开眼睛


我和你 频率如此接近
没压力 自在做我自己
第一次 感受这种爱的决心
只想要只想要 和你一起


I Wanna Be With You
爱你好幸福
想要和你建造一个爱的小屋

I Wanna Be With You
爱你好满足
享受最甜美的舒服有一个呵护我
不在孤独

I Wanna Be With You

little words from my ♥

每一次谈起大学的事，都会和爸妈起冲突

到底是我不懂他们的想法还是他们不懂我想要的是什么

有时会想为什么想读个大学都必须弄到那么复杂

看见朋友们一个个都已经处理好了，真令人羡慕

而我却到这一刻为止，都还搞不清楚

刚才和爸妈聊了一会儿

到最后根本不是在聊，是在吵

他们总认为新加坡是最好的选子

我应该去那边

可是，他们有没有想过，我想不想我要不要

每一次，我还没开口说话，他们就直接说他们知道我要讲什么

一次都不给我机会说出我的心里话

真的好烦

还以为，找姐谈会好过一些

最后还是一样，他和爸妈说的话一点都没差别

更不用说我舅了，这以来都是他在做鬼

为什么大家都没试看来了解我的心情

你们给我的压力真的太大了

真的好害怕自己有一天会承受不了

不想看到自己倒下去的样子

可是每次看到妈听我说我不想去新加坡失望的样子，真的很令人难过

我知道，她把她全部的希望都放在我身上

我也知道，她没对我要求些什么，只有一个很简单的要求

就是想看我有一天，能成为一个成功的人，让他有我这个女儿而感到骄傲

她对我说过，如果我能够实现她这一个愿望，她就心满意足了

想起这件事，真的忍不住流下了眼泪

告诉我，该怎么办才好

:(

真的很不想很不想在去想这件事了

可是我还能够怎样 :(

忽然间想起了你，想起我们的事

刚才有一位朋友来问我，到底和你有什么关系

在那一刻的我什么都没说，只对他笑了一笑

可能觉得尴尬，所以他也没继续问下去

想起来真的有点好笑

怎么朋友们都那么在乎我和你的事

:D

有时会想，‘如果’我真的去了新加坡，我们会变成什么样子

还能够保持现在所有的一切吗？

还能够和现在一摸一样吗？

我真的很不希望应为距离使我们俩变成陌生人

不否认，自己真的把我最后拥有的希望都交给了你

其实，答应过自己不会再把希望交给任何人了

也不会让自己在这短时间内尝试恋爱的滋味

曾经想过，不管‘它’会是个美好或者悲惨的事情，我也不可以在这短时间里碰到‘它’

可是，你的出现改变了一切

改变了我对爱情的看法

改变了在我心中“拥有”的意思

改变了这个孩子气的样子

你也教会了我许多许多事情

你教会我什么才叫做不自私

你教会了我怎样才叫做珍惜

最后，你也教会了我，在日子里扮演一个很重要的角色，那就是“接受”

不懂怎么样去接受任何事的人，日子一定会很不好过吧

谢建唯！！

我这一颗心彻彻底底地被你捉住了

请你一定要好好保护与珍惜它

不管到最后会不会结果，我还是愿意为你付出

只要我做得到，我都愿意

我不敢保证我能够当一个最好的，可是我会学习与努力做到最好

♥

p.s 

读完后，去听p.s我爱你 ;)

dear T

I MISS YOU BADLY ♥

X(

不知道为什么，今晚的我情绪有点不稳定

已经累了一整天，回到家却发现好多好多事都还没做好

刚才我还乱对妹妹发脾气，委屈你了妹

真的很对不起 :(

现在，我恨不得能够大哭一场

真的快要烦死了

连自己到底在想些什么都已经搞不清楚了

如果现在有你在这里，那该有多好

p.s 

记得那天你问我为什么那么喜欢听p.s我爱你这首歌

理由很简单，是应为那首歌唱出了我心里想说的每一句话 :)

27th february .

it's been 7months :)

you'll be in my heart ♥

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand 

Hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand
the way we feel
They just don't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
deep inside us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other,
to have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in my heart, always
Always 

p.s I MISS YOU BADLY , 谢建唯

都是你 :)

谁 改变了我的世界
没有方向 没有日夜
我看着天 这一刻在想你

你 曾说我们有一个梦
等到那天 我们来实现
我望着天 在心中默默念
下一秒 你出现在眼前

想念的心 装满的都是你
我的钢琴 弹奏的都是你
我的日记 写满的都是你的名
才发现 又另一个黎明
music
是否会 对我一样思念

你 曾说我们有一个梦
等到那天 我们来实现
我望着天 在心中默默念
下一秒 你出现在眼前
 
想念的心 装满的都是你
我的钢琴 弹奏的都是你
我的日记 写满的都是你的名
才发现 又另一个黎明
 

我的日记 写满的都是你的名
才发现 又是一个黎明
这是我 对你爱的累积

p.s 我的爱已写满你的名 

it is coming soon !!

damn try out !

it is coming just in few days time more .

and it makes me freaking stressed out !

what should i do with those damn subjects ?!!!

sh*t !!

i was sitting alone in the living room just now .

and i couldn't stop thinking about you .

one thing that i have just realized , you really took my heart away .

this feeling is growing deeper and deeper , wei .

and i decided , i will give myself one more chance for this time .

no more lies , no more pretending :)

as long as you know , this heart belongs to you :)

谢健唯 ♥

well  its been 6days since you went back .

and now i am dying because of missing you .

dont know why , 我已经习惯有你在身边的日子了

and i really wish everything could last till the end .

到这一刻，回到家的我还是会有盼望你来我家的感觉

想起你还在这边的时候，真的是一个很美好的时刻

每天，读书回，到了家的我，第一件做的事就是等你出现在我家门前

都会一直陪在我身边，我需要你的时候你也总会在第一时间出现

老实说，谈了好几次恋爱的我，却是第一次有这种感觉

说起来也真的有点好笑

你知道吗？

你献给我太多的第一次了

从你回来到现在，我真的度过了好多好多的第一次

第一次让我爸妈点头的男孩，是你

第一次带给我家人看的男孩，是你

第一次让我感觉到我是真的很幸副的男孩，是你

第一次让我和一个男孩约会什么都不用怕的男孩，是你

第一次让我明白什么叫做温暖的男孩，是你

第一次让我知道什么叫做关心的男孩，也是你

最后，第一次让我心甘请愿去等待的，还是你

不管到最后，会不会有结果，对我，这一切还是会那么的完美

我真的没什么要求

我也知道，我每那种资格对你要求些什么

只是想让你知道，不管到什么时候，和你在一起的每一分每一秒，是我这一来最开心的时刻

从来每想过，自己还会有这个机会

所以，无论如何我一定会好好珍惜这一切

不再那么轻易放弃

不再那么轻易放手

现在就让我好好珍惜有你在日子里的时刻

不知到这个幸福会走到什么时候，可是我还是相信，有一天这个幸福会是属于我的

答应过你，我不会再胡思乱想了

应为我相信你，谢健唯 ♥

my valentine ♥

well , it was such a disappointment at first .

had a date with you all at 7 , yet until 8 nobody appeared yet .

i was so angry and really endured it hardly .

we ought to have our dinner at sampan , but in the end we spent our time sitting at psp .

i didnt know what to say anymore so i just better shut my mouth up and just listened to them .

it was a boring situation actually .

but still , having you people around me is more than enough .

no matter how bad the situation was , just by knowing  , you people are here for me is more than enough .

and i wont ask for anything better .

because i have the best alr .

and for you, my dear xie jian wei

it's really a big surprise for me .

i really thought that i would spend this valentine without anything from you .

but you really showed that you do care for me .

i do mean something for you :)

i found a bunch of flower on my bed , waiting for me .

it is being hugged by my kitty (the doll that wei loves to hug and kiss =D)

at first , i couldn't even guess who sent it .

心里还总想不可能是你

dui bu qi wei , i shouldnt have thought so :(

still , it is so sweet of you .

the flowers , represent our special codes ;)

this is the first time in my life , receiving such a special bunch of flowers :D

thanks a lot , wei .

really don't know what should i say anymore .

God is really so kind , sending my fams n you into my life .

i am just so grateful .

13 , purple <3

really thanks a lot my dear xie jian wei :)

you simply make my days perfect with your simplest way .

<3

written here , right inside my heart ♥

TIVAU FINARDO ♥

since you came into my life ..

its been a month since all of these things started .

30th december 2010 , you came back .

and change my whole life .

i never thought that it will turn out to be this good .

really , it's far beyond my expectation .

i did hope that everything would turn out better .

but you make everything turn out to be the best .

i was once afraid to meet you .

honestly , i planned to avoid you at first .

when you told me that you were in tpi alr .

i was lost , what should i do .

i know it's impossible for me to stay away from you .

no matter how , still, this heart wanted to see you more than i myself could realize .

so i decided to meet you , on your first day here .

and when i saw your face again , all of the things that i have given up seems running back to me .

confused , the only thing that i could feel that time .

everything was so complicated .

but you gave me strength .

you let me know that you will always be there whenever i need you .

you let me know that whatever i am going to face , you are here , holding on my hands till the end .

you let me know that no matter what , you will never leave me alone .

the biggest strength that i have ever had .

i am really so thankful , wei .

talking about this , it reminds me of "that day"

the day when you told me that ~

the day when i decided to be honest to you and myself .

i would never ever forget it .

i was once being hurt by you .

and so sorry , i had ever given up on us too .

even stop hoping and wanted to just leave us this way .

stop thinking and stop hoping .

but in the end , you are still the one who revived it all .

you made me understand what second chance in this world looks like .

nobody ever treated me like the way you do .

nobody ever look at me like the way you do .

nobody ever hold my hand like the way you do .

nobody ever give the warmth to me like the way you do .

nobody ever hug me like the way you do .

nobody ever treated my parents like the way you do .

nobody ever do everything like the way you do .

and i believe nobody will ever be able to do everything like the way you do.

you are my everything  now and you will always be .

....................

the rain have stopped finally .

but i just dont know why .

i love the smell of the rain .

do somebody feel the same ?

:)

最经的我真的快要崩溃了

不知道为什么自己就是无法停止想你

其实心里很清楚，这一切真的没那么容易

it's time for me to stop lying myself .

i have been lying to myself since you appeared in my life .

and now should be the time for me to stop .

i have had it enough .

what should i do now ?

i do feel something wrong now .

i really cant imagine how my days would be without you .

time is running up for both of us .

i really wish that i could tell him everything that i have been struggling .

i think i really should clarify all of these things .

说真的，我需要一个肯定

这样下去真的会有结果吗？

可是，我真的无法放开你了

i hate how much i need you boy .

so sorry if i can't let you go anymore .

im trying to do my best , just let God do the rest for me .

it's killing me .

well .

these few days have really been a headache for me .

too many things that trouble me .

what should i do ?

now shouldnt be the time for me to think about those stuff .

but i just cant control myself .

especially today .

it is really a hard day for me .

i can hardly calm myself down .

dont know why , tears just keep falling down .

and i dont know whom i should talk to .

whom can i trust .

and i really need someone by my side now .

选着相信你的我，现在真的不知道该怎么做了

damn headache .

it's been 6 months since you came into my life .

really thanks for everything that you have done for me .

i do appreciate it alot .

you really bring out the best in me .

i never ever thought that i could feel like this .

never since then.

but you showed me something different , wei .

the world that i have never known before .

i never know that something can be done in just such a simple way .

really never do .

you made me believe in it once again .

and sometimes , i just can't believe that you are really here by my side .

you are always there whenever i need you .

but what can i do to make this moment stays forever ?

i really wish that i can , whatever it takes .

i really do .

but i realize .

we r going to lead our own way .

i do hope that this can work for both of us .

but still , i am really afraid that it will turn out to be just another disappointment .

i don't care who is gonna hurt me , disappoint me , dislike me .

i really don''t care .

but it's just can't be you .

i would rather never have you at all , better than i have to feel how hurt it will be by losing you .

i know , it will be hard for me to let go at that time .

you make me feel like that you are really the one , wei .

i can only do my best , and let God do the rest for me .

these few days have been really hard for me .

i am really lost now .

My Everything - 98 degree

The loneliness of nights alone
the search for strength to carry on
my every hope has seemed to die
my eyes had no more tears to cry
then like the sun shining up above
you surrounded me with your endless love
Coz all the things I couldn't see are now so clear to me

You are my everything
Nothing your love won't bring
My life is yours alone
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through
When nothing else will do
Every night I pray
On bended knee
That you will always be
My everything

Now all my hopes and all my dreams
are suddenly reality
you've opened up my heart to feel
a kind of love that's truly real
a guiding light that'll never fade
there's not a thing in life that I would ever trade
for the love you give it won't let go
I hope you'll always know

You are my everything
Nothing your love won't bring
My life is yours alone
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through
When nothing else will do
Every night I pray
On bended knee
That you will always be
My everything

You're the breath of life in me
the only one that sets me free
and you have made my soul complete
for all time (for all time)

You are my everything (you are my everything)
Nothing your love won't bring (nothing your love won't bring)
My life is yours alone (alone)
The only love I've ever known
Your spirit pulls me through (your spirit pulls me through)
When nothing else will do (when nothing else will do)
Every night I pray (I pray)
On bended knee (on my knee)
That you will always be
be my everything

chorus repeats

[almost spoken:] Every night I pray
down on bended knee
that you will always be
my everything
oh my everything

-_-

well , just met you for awhile today .

and i really miss you .

have been hoping you will come here tonite , but still .

you cant make it .

really miss you alot , wei :((

 

few weeks left .

and you are going back to there .

haihh .

it really bothers me , i have been thinking about it these few days .

what am i going to do without you by my side ? :(

i have been relying on you since you came back here .

now , i dont even dare to say that i miss you .

afraid that myself will sink deeper in it .

no matter what , i know i have to get used to it , but just let me rely on you when you are still here .

just let me spend these few weeks happily with you .

you really showed me the things that io have never known before .

truly appreciate all of the things that you have done for me .

really do .

if u're asking do i care for you , i do .

if u're asking do you mean something to me , you mean everything to me :)

your spirit pulls me through , when nothing else will do .

My Greatest January :)

well .

everything changes since you came back .

all of the things in my life , look much more greater .

yeah , everything is splendid .

to tell the truth , i never thought that everything will turn out to be like this .

too complicated yet too great , too splendid for a person like me .

at first , i really thought that i could get over you .

i really thought that we are done , we are just a friend .

even thought that you wont ever look for me again .

tell myself that i should treat you just like an ordinary friend .

i even did something foolish, accepted a beast .

thinking back about that , really, i feel so shameful .

yeah , i know that i hurt him .

but i cant lie to myself anymore .

i have had it enough and i really get enough of it .

keep lying to myself , saying that you are really just a friend to me .

i've got no feeling to you , not at all .

thinking that you really treated me just as a friend to you .

even thought that we really got nothing to do with each other .

but , you showed me that none of them is true .

we really got something .

something that i have never known before .

i dont even dare to hope .

honestly , 

even before you come back , i have been hoping this thing between us , could improve .

 really did put a lot of hopes .

in the end , you made feel like you don't care at all .

days passed , you changed totally .

you started to make feel that you do care for me and i do mean something to you.

but when i was at sg , i didn't why , i just thought it was really over .

i have to put an end on this thing .

i really thought that i could do that .

but when i saw your face , again .

i could do nothing anymore.

i need you more than i could realize , i really do .

i just cant imagine , what am i going to do without you later ?

i am really afraid , wei .

you are important for me .

too important .

you are really the first .

i have never been this crazy before .

the first time when i feel so comfortable , i even could be myself whenever im with you .

i dont have to pretend , i could be myself .

i am truly happy whenever im with you .

eventhough sometimes , friends are asking .

"dont you feel that its unfair to you ?

we all know about your relationship , even your parents .

but what do you get from him ?

do his friends know about you both ?

has he ever brought you out together with his friends

he doesnt even ask you a question that plays the most important role in both of you"

well , friends i just could answer.

i am fine with it , i really do .

as long as he is here , nothing is a problem for me .

and i believe i can solve it .

that is not important for me .

why should i ask for those things when things are getting better for me ?

without that status , still , i am very happy .

i cant deny that it bothers me sometimes .

but when i know he is always there for me , its more than enough for me .

i wont ask for anything better , because this moment is the best moment for me

but whatever will happen , i am really so grateful and thankful that i found you .

my guardian angel :)