..

well ,

another simple day for me . with me ,

actually , today i supposed to go to evi's house .

but i didn't .

really sorry , my dear .

i had to accompany my mom just now , and still had to practice in the afternoon .

hopefully that u people wont be angry .

and i believe u are not that petty .

:D

really a tired weekend for me .

i did nothing besides practicing my lovely badminton .

my body is really aching now .

i even have a flu now .

haih2 .

hate this weak body .

but no matter what , i love my life now .

eventhough it lacks of something , it still looks great for me .

this simple life is what i have been hoping for .

no more problems , no more annoying things .

i should have took a rest earlier .

good nite world , my baby :)

missmissmiss :((

wowowow !!

it's really been a long time since i was here .

i do miss here a lot .

i have been thinking so much recently .

realized that everything has changed drastically .

i personally do hate changes a lot .

but what can i do ?

this life will never stop to change .

well , i am alone now .

friends seem drifting further away from me .

i miss those days alot .

nothing else in my mind , except the days when i was still practicing badminton .

it really changes my life alot .

turned a calm and silent vero into the current vero :)

i wont deny that it plays an important role in my life .

without it , the current me will never exist .

i really dont know what should i do now .

who should i talk to whenever i got a prob ?

in the past , the first that crossed my mind would be my bluedjefv .

but now ?

i feel like its hard for me to have a good communication with them .

i know , the problem lies on me .

it;s just hard for me .

i dont even know myself now .

what exactly the thing that i have been hoping for ?

what do i wait for ?

haihh

it just seems meaningless to me.

well , i've a good news.

"finally"

haha

i've started to practice badminton again .

eventhough it is just simply for porprov , but im happy now .

but still , it lacks of something :((

feel a bit unwell .

should take a rest earlier .

good night my lovely world , my baby :)

my hectic day .

it's been days since i was here .

days were so busy until i could hardly get my breath .

assignments are getting many and many .

exams are getting closer .

but seeing the condition right now , bet that i will get a super extremely bad result for it .

try out is held on saturday .

biology ! damn !

am i going to let my answering paper just empty ?

hopefully that somebody is kind enough to help me that day .

may God bless me o:)

and days just seem simple now .

i am leading my own great life .

yes , school has become my priority for "now" .

well , just for now .

what will happen next ?

let's see .

just hoping that this spirit will last until the "day" comes .

honestly , i am really afraid that i can't do it .

but no matter what , i have to be success !

no failed is allowed !

i need your guidance , God .

:)

good night to my lovely world :)

10-10-10

a unique date , day :)

and today , bluedjefv finally could have a gathering .

eventhough we were less of one person , but it doesn't matter .

you will always in our heart and mind , jes .

we'll take you wherever we go .

and i know , we have to try , to understand what you have been facing.

but i would still like to say , i really hope that one day , you could tag along us , wherever we are going ,

just for one day :)

and , we had a dinner together just now .

it was all sal's idea ,asking us to have a dinner together on this unique day .

haha .

well , honestly, at first , i was a bit angry .

we were ordering food , yet you people ignored what i was asking .

kinda annoying.

but , i know , i was over-sensitive .

bet you people have got used to it .

:D

and in the end , everything turned out much better .

we had finished our dinner , and evi decided to go home .

sal drove her home , and we were waiting for erwin outside .

haha .

went to rimba directly and talked a lot .

it's been so long since we did .

actually , we were talking about nothing , but i am happy :)

i came back home around 9 o'clock .

don't know why , my body has been aching for few days .

:(

i pulled out my drawer , and i saw something .

the key chain .

the only thing that reminds me of him .

haha .

let gooo ~

i have let go of him :)

well , nothing could be say anymore ,

good night world :)

the october .

this month is a busy month for me indeed .

try our is coming and yet i haven't prepared anything for it .

seems like i am really getting lazier now .

and i don't know what should i do with it .

:(

well well well

nothing special happened in my life lately .

what a boring life .

but fortunately , i have my dear2 bluedjefv :D

love you all <3

p.s

 世界最遥远的距离是我站在你眼前，你却相信我爱你

hmm .

it's been few days since i posted in here .

i have been so busy these days .

really wanted to post alot of things , but time just unallowed it .

so many tasks haven't done yet .

but i just decided to let myself take a rest for a day .

is it right for me to do that ?

:D

i hope so .

as usual , i go to church every sunday .

today , too .

i woke up late this morning , and really prepared myself in a rush .

i was late about 15 minutes just now .

when i arrived there , jn and thomas were still looking for a park .

we went in together .

and as usual too , we sat on left side of the building .

i sat beside jn and finally realized something .

he was there .

at first , i thought it was just my hallucination .

i ignored it and found out later ,

i was not hallucinating .

he was there , sat in a close distance with me .

but i kept pretending that i didn't know that he was there at all .

but i believe , jn felt it .

she knew why i acted like that .

she choose to keep quiet , didn't ask me anything at all .

ended on about 10.30 o'clock .

when we were about going out from the church , i tried so hard to act as normal as i could .

but , he stood right behind me !

in such a close distance ,

i just could staring on my bb while he was talking with jn .

i didn't why should i acted like that .

i hate myself .

hate myself for being a coward .

i couldn't even take out a bit of nerve just to smile at him .

i even refused to take a look of him .

i know deep inside my heart , how i wish we could be friends .

yeah , whatever i said , it's too late .

it was my fault .

you loved me deeply , yet i hurt you deeply .

i'm sorry .

no matter what , i do cherish our memories a lot .

the only thing that reminds me of you .

the only thing that proves your existence in my life .

the only thing that proves our togetherness .

but still , past will always remain in the past .

and i would never regret with all of my decision .

i know , life will be much greater for me .

and for the last time , thanks for everything that you have ever given to me .

such a wonderful thing .

i have been wondering whether i would have the chance to feel like that again or not .

lol .

yay !

bluedjefv is going to have a gathering next week !!

i am expecting it !

and we should have a great day boys and girls .

just stop thinking about your financial problem !!!!!!

an unforgettable , crazy , and fun day are needed :D

no matter what your reason are , you people should attend it .

it is a must .

good night world .

May God bless me all the time :)